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Who is Melvin?
"I'm a perfectly normal 27-year-old guy who has been on the 'net since 1988. I'm pretty tolerant of most things, but when something strikes a nerve with me, I make sure it is known by all around me. Allow me to stress again that I am perfectly normal, despite any claims of traumatic injury the other guys say I suffer as a result of the tragic blimp accident I was involved in 1993."

What kind of things makes Melvin cringe?
"I recently read an article that used 'cyberspace' 13 times and 'information superhighway' 5 times. It also used 'on-ramp' 3 times, 'on-ramp provider' twice, and several other 'cyber' words including 'cybermarketer', 'cyberspeed', and 'cyberize'. This is nothing but pathetic cheese, and people who write such things should be exiled to Cyberia.

I also hate web pages that are obviously cranked out by Pagemill or Hot Dog or a Microsoft Word HTML export. The best websites are designed with Notepad or Wordpad or Teachtext or Simpletext or vi or, at the most complicated, BBEdit or EVE. Face it, if an HTML editor doesn't require people to know what they are doing, they probably don't know what they are doing.

Most of all, I hate web pages that endlessly quote Monty Python or Douglas Adams."
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